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Post by Claire Heart on Nov 4, 2008 15:19:27 GMT -5
She wanted to blatently say no. Goodness, she felt old. "Hello Kay," she hugged her warmly. She was trying. She was really trying. "I would love to in just a few moments. I just wanted to talk to Ellie a few moments if that's alright," she addressed them both.
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Post by Kay on Nov 4, 2008 15:22:52 GMT -5
"All right - you are the most popular girl here you know" she said as she skipped away. But was she talking to Claire or Ellie? They couldn't tell.
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Post by Claire Heart on Nov 4, 2008 15:23:58 GMT -5
She linked arms with Ellie and walked outside on the patio. "I need to talk to you because I'm trying very hard not to kill anyone. And if I had to pretend like everything was ok for hours before I talked to someone, I was going to scream."
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Post by Ellie Baum on Nov 4, 2008 15:27:00 GMT -5
"What is it?" She asked. She was concerned about Claire, but she was still realing from her entrance. Had she somehow become popular? By being quiet and aloof? Was it possible? Or was Claire about to be swept back into the whirl of the social scene?
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Post by Claire Heart on Nov 4, 2008 15:31:45 GMT -5
"I'm sorry. I'm stealing your thunder. You are beautiful tonight..." she hugged her. "And you are amazing. I wasn't trying to drag you off. I just...I've been standing there and thinking. And you know what happens when I think." she tried to smile. "It's just that I think...I don't think, I'm afraid...that my marriage is falling apart. We've talked. We've tried to talk...i've done everything I"m supposed to. It just...he's not here. Do you notice, he's still not here?"
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Post by Ellie Baum on Nov 4, 2008 15:34:22 GMT -5
"Claire...you can't base your decision on him not attending one party at the Ozdust..."
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Post by Claire Heart on Nov 4, 2008 15:36:54 GMT -5
"But it's not just that. I asked him to come. I asked him to please come, and he never gave me an answer. He never said anything about it. He didn't even come home tonight before I came. He doesn't come home a lot..."
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Post by Ellie Baum on Nov 4, 2008 15:46:55 GMT -5
"Claire...what are you trying to tell me?"
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Post by Claire Heart on Nov 4, 2008 15:49:16 GMT -5
"Ellie this was his thing. Don't you remember how excited he used to be about being social? About balls and parties? It was...it was the final thing that really made me think. Either he's not the Taye I married...or he's having fun with someone else..."
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Post by Ellie Baum on Nov 4, 2008 15:50:48 GMT -5
"What! Oh no, Claire! He's not having an affair!"
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Post by Claire Heart on Nov 4, 2008 15:57:40 GMT -5
"How do you know? How can you be sure?" her hands shook. She wanted to scream. "How would I know? He spends half his life in the Emerald City. I spend half of mine here at Shiz. I have no idea how many people he comes into contact with! I have no idea how many of them he looks at, thinks about, fantacizes about. What if he wasn't ever thinking of me? What if I was old hat after a couple go rounds? There are things you just don't know about Taye. Things he doesn't talk about."
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Post by Ellie Baum on Nov 4, 2008 16:01:54 GMT -5
"Then tell me. What do I need to know?"
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Post by Claire Heart on Nov 4, 2008 16:06:11 GMT -5
"Taye was the first person I had ever been with, but I wasn't his first. I wasn't anywhere close to his first! I don't even know how many people he slept with before me. Now he told me they were all just people. They meant nothing: boys, girls, men, women...I don't know he may have slept with a few Animals too!" she was getting so frusterated, she had to stop and take a deep breath. "He never just like girls. He never just liked one person. Sure, I thought that settling down with me would change that. But what if it didn't? We dated such a short time, and poof! I was pregnant. And what do people do when they're together, and they get thier girlfriend pregnant? They get married! And then once you're married, you're supposed to stay together forever and ever, right? Well, what if that was too much for him? What if he wasn't ready for that? He's only twenty. He was nineteen when we got married, nineteen. I was twenty two. I wasn't ready to get married at twenty two. I know he wasn't at nineteen! What if he's found someone else? Or a dozen someone else's?"
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Post by Ellie Baum on Nov 4, 2008 16:07:53 GMT -5
"Claire! You never told me! Why would you get involved with someone who was so...free sexually?"
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Post by Claire Heart on Nov 4, 2008 16:15:24 GMT -5
"I thought it was exciting, dangerous! He was experienced, and I was naieve. And I thought it was fascinating. And He was so smart. And we were so much alike. And the more I got to know him, the better suited I thought we were for one another. And when he told me that he'd done this, well...partially, I didn't care because I was already falling in love with him. And partially, it excited me, because I thought 'oh boy, he can teach me.' I wanted to jump on him right then and there...and he stopped me, wouldn't let me, and I thought he was such a gentleman because of it..." she shook her head, running her hand through her hair. "I was so stupid! So young and innocent and naieve and stupid!"
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